Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
