Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
