could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
