Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
