I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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