He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
