oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
4 words: hood of his car
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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