Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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