even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
