just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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