you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just gift wrapped bread.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
