A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
