It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
