i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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