..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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