Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the condom got lost in my hair
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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