How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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