Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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