They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
