umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
