Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
