also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
