i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You may now shotgun with the bride
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
