well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
