just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
