none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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