You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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