Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
