Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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