he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
