i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
