lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
