I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize