Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
