Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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