sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
