I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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