can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
