I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude i'm inner monologue high
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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