it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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