Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
