Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
