Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
