I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
