She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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