absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
