Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i've created a new STD.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
