we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
