that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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