grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
false alarm, still single
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