just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Panties = found
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