Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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