I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
