this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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