the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
