what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Even my vagina gasped.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
