am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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