i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
