If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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