I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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