WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
