the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
