i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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