butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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