Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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